How Jehovah Got My Attention: Part 4 (Forgiveness)

'This topic, Forgiveness,
was a BIG issue with me.'

Welcome back, again, you beautiful readers. If you are back, then that means you are eager to proceed. Heads up on this one though. This topic, Forgiveness, was a BIG issue with me. As you will learn, forgiveness was not something I was big on, and so, Jehovah worked with me, but, still, this was a hard thing for me. Please, read on...

Once I got the 'Bible Teach' book and my new Bible, I took them to work with me and started studying it. I started learning things I never knew were in my own Bible from page one of the Bible Teach Book. I was excited! I couldn't put the book down! I would constantly call papa and share with him what I was learning!

Is it possible?

Papa encouraged me to attend the congregation book study and I decided to go. The only KH (Kingdom Hall) that I knew of was the one in E-town, and I did not want to go to that one as my Mother-in-law was attending that one, and I did not want to see her. I also knew that we lived in the Territory of the Vine Grove, Kentucky KH and that is the one we should be attending anyway. So while still at work, I call my daughter and asked her for directions to the KH as she had been there before, and I went there directly from work, pulling the Semi tractor into the parking lot, and attended my first congregation book study. There weren't many people there, but that mattered not to me. I sat in the back row, and listened...and learned. Afterwards, the only person to greet me was the Gentleman who conducted the lesson. Of course, I was thrilled to be learning stuff in the Bible, and called Papa to share what I had learned. He was very encouraging.

Two days later, Saturday, guess who pulls into our driveway again? Yep, that same couple that had been out at our house a month ago. Papa had invited them in and when I came around the corner into the kitchen, I recognized them. And with that big, sweet, attractive smile, he says to me: “I hear you were at the meeting Thursday night.” I agreed with him. He asked me how I liked it and I was overjoyed to tell him. Then, while leaning up against my kitchen counter, arms crossed, he looks me square in the eyes and asks me: “So, are you ready to study now?” The answer was YES. Knowing our past history with studying, Papa wanted to make sure we had a back-up day for a study if something should interfere with our original study day. Turns out, it wasn't really needed as we approached the study differently. Papa and I look back on it and we both agree that this time, our hearts were really in it.

We started our study with Mark and Shirley A. out of the 'What does God Require of us?' brochure. It wasn't long before the poor A's would be studying with us for at least 3-4 hours, weekly, but they did not seem to mind, and we enjoyed their company. Occasionally, my mom would sit in on the studies, and I knew when we got to the part on the Trinity, she would have trouble, but talking to Mark about it was the start of a bond between the two of us that I can not explain. For one thing, He explained things to me in such a way that I could imagine myself there. I like to tell folks that I can just see the dust blowing across the street. And because Mark came from the same religious background as myself, he knew what I was going through and what I was thinking. Boy were we bonding! But it helped me to let go of my past teaching and readily except what I was reading in the Bible.

Add caption

"BUT I HAVE BAGGAGE."

Along with me attending the Thursday night Book study of the Bible Teach book, Papa and I are attending the Sunday Meetings. I enjoy the friendship that is developing between myself and the others in the congregation. But I have baggage. There is still this great rift between myself and my Mother-in-law and Papa is caught in the middle. He talks to Mark about it to see if we can get some help. Mark arranges a meeting between Papa, myself, and Tom S., the C/O and Mark himself. The problem: Papa is trying to figure out how to get both his mother and myself into the same vehicle without us killing each other so that he can take her up to the District Convention so that she can get baptized. Of course, out comes the Bible, and I leave full of tears, having a reading assignment of an article on the importance of forgiveness, plus many scriptures to look up, but feeling that they really care. In the end, I know that I am going to have to give up my hatred in order to please God. But I don't want to. Hatred has been my friend for so long.

"I went home with an
even greater appreciation
of Jehovah's Witnesses."

In the end, my Mother-in-law arrives at the D/C by other means. Paul and I attend all three days, and the conduct of the people made quite an impression on me. I was moved to tears to see how the elderly and handicapped were attended to. I remember thinking that I did not know of any other organization, religious or otherwise, that treated the elderly and handicapped with such attentiveness and compassion. I went home with an even greater appreciation of Jehovah's Witnesses.

Meanwhile, It does not take long to find out that the Thursday night studies are conducted in private homes to allow for more groups. One night while Mark and Shirley are at our home for our home study, we were informed that their home is closer to my home than the Kingdom Hall, and that I am officially invited to go there. So I eventually do, and enjoy it very much. Long after everyone had left, I was still there, talking with Mark and Shirley. And he was happy to do it. I would end up leaving their home around eleven pm. Poor Mark, he had to work the next day. But I could not get enough information.

One night, after the Thursday night Book study, Mark baits a hook for me concerning the Theocratic Ministry School. I took the bait and attended. Papa had given me a heads up on what to expect, but seeing it was a bit overwhelming, (after all, I had never been inside a church that actually teaches you to teach others the Bible) but I was still happy to be there. After the meeting, one of the sisters that had given a presentation, who happens to be in book study at the A's home comes up to me and asks me it I think I can do 'this.' 

I say yes, but it wasn't until late one night after the Thursday night study, that Mark asks me if I would like to join the school, that I actually join, because I was not sure that I was ready, but he assured me that I was. And what should my first talk be about? FORGIVENESS!! As a Householder, (assistant) mind you, but I still did research for the talk, and I learned even more about the need to forgive, but I still couldn't get the mastery of it! This forgiveness thing was holding me back. I could not, in good conscience, proceed spiritually while Hatred still had the mastery over me.

Meanwhile, we had finished the Bible Teach Book as a congregation study, and I knew that there were some who were wondering why I wasn't baptized yet, but again, I had baggage. Heavy baggage. I did go ahead and ask to progress as an unbaptized publisher. So my first experience in the Ministry was handing out invitations to the upcoming memorial of Christ' Death, and by the second week, I was taking the lead in the conversations. I enjoyed the field ministry and knew that it was something I would be able to do for Jehovah, but my heart was still heavy.  

In part 5, I will talk about something else that was holding me back from serving Jehovah with a happy heart... Pride and Resentment. Yep...

How Jehovah Got My Attention: Part 3 (2005-2006)

Welcome back, you beautiful readers. I am glad that you are enjoying my story. I have had so many people tell me that they are enjoying it. Soooooo...

Let's do another jump in time to 2005. More contact with the Witnesses. A man comes driving out to our place, by himself, and goes a far as the road will allow. (I tell you, those people will go anywhere.) I can tell he is a Witness, so I give him a wide berth as I am walking down the old county road on our property as I head for the house. Paul stops the tractor and talks to him. I later find out that he has a daughter that would love to study with us, but I am not interested. As far as I am concerned, they are still wrong, and I am right.

By now, most of the family is living on the 80 acres that we have purchased, and I hear that my Mother-in-law is studying with the Witnesses. There is a great rift that has developed between the two of us, and I am so not interested in what she is doing. I am happy in my own world as a truck driver. The rift gets bigger and bigger until I don't even want to come home anymore. So I decide that Mom-in-law has to go. She moves into E-town...I am happy.

'Crankie' June, 2005

Then in Early 2006, more contact with the Witnesses. Paul and his cousin are working on our Semi (Crankie) that we own and that I drive. From the Shop, I see a strange car pull into the driveway, and as the boys are covered with grease, I go down to see who it is. As soon as the man gets out of the car, I know that he is a Witness...GREAT...I so did not have time to talk to him, nor was I interested in what he had to say. But I did not want to be rude, so I talked. Of course, I am trying to act like I know some things about the Bible, so I mentioned the Earth being destroyed by fire, and he calmly reasons with me why that can not happen. What am I gunna say? What he says makes sense, and I don't know enough of my own Bible to prove him wrong. That in itself angered me, so I knew that I needed to 'Find My Bible.' Before he left, he gave me the January 2006 Awake! (which, BTW, I still have) with his name and number on the back. Of course, I had no intentions of looking at the magazine or calling him, but I took the magazine so that he would leave, but I did want to start reading my bible again.

About a month later, probably less, January 2006, Paul, my daughter and Son and myself are getting ready to walk out the door (going away dinner for my son at Red Lobster) when who does my son invite into the house, that same Witness that was out about a month ago. This time he has his wife with him. Bad timing, but she leaves us the Watchtower magazine with their name and number on the front. She briefly points to something inside the magazine that I might look at later. I take the magazine so that they will leave. Once again, I have no intentions of looking at the magazine or calling them. But again, I knew that I needed to 'Find my Bible' and get to reading it.

Paul & Deb, April 12, 2006
Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses
Elizabethtown, Ky

All this time, my Mother-in-law is still studying with the

Witnesses. She invited Paul to the Memorial of Christ, and he agrees to go. I know that he will not want to be around all those people without me, so I agree to go with him. After all, it is no big deal to me. After the memorial is over, Paul mentions to me that the Witnesses are getting ready to study a new book as a congregation. I am not really that interested, but to make conversation I ask him what the book is. He says: “I don't know, it's something like: 'What does the Bible really say' or 'What does the Bible really teach?'”.......And just like that, I snapped upright and said, “I want that book!”

April 12, 2006
Paul, Bekah, Deb

At this point, I still can't find my Bible, but it does not seem to matter any more, so I ask Paul if his mom can get me both a Bible and the 'New book.' I knew enough from my studies over the years to learn that 'my' Bible and 'Their Bible' were the same, just worded differently.

There is more to come in part 4. Stay with me, my beautiful readers. And as always, I welcome your input, and please, share this with others. 

How Jehovah Got My Attention: Part 2, Years 1989 and 1996

Welcome back, my beautiful readers. I am glad you are here. Should we proceed with how Jehovah Got My Attention? Read on...

Now, jump ahead to 1989. Paul and I are still living in Wyoming and now had a son and his sister four years his senior, and we were tossing around the idea of starting another study with the Witnesses. Of course, I only agree to the study if I could use my own Bible, the KJV, as I can remember my Dad saying "that the Witnesses wrote their own Bible." We were living about 40 miles from Lander near the Sweetwater station at a campground called River Campground. There was a couple about our age, at least I think they were, that would drive all the way out there to study with us. A forty mile trip, one way. Again, I was not in it to learn, but to prove them wrong. 

Not a Bible teaching that I learned in 1989

During one of our studies, they showed me a scripture in my own Bible, the KJV, that when my Dad died, he did not go to Heaven, although I can not remember which one. I was stunned. It was then that the realization that my dad was wrong hit me and I cried right then. I couldn't argue with the Bible, but I sure did not like what it had to say, so I did not want to study anymore. I broke contact with that couple that studied with us. Belief in my Dad and belief in the Bible were conflicting.

When our family moved to Kentucky in 1996, Paul once again suggested that we start up another study. By now I am getting tired of this, because every time we started up a study, we would start out of the same book, and I was getting tired of it, but I agreed to it none the less, but I was getting tired of it. We made contact with Elizabethtown (E-town) Kentucky congregation. 

What I remember most was the friendliness of the people compared to what I was used to from the folks at the churches that I use to go to when I was young and lived in Wyoming. The other thing I remembered was that they did not pass the collection plate. When I questioned Paul as to why they did not pass it, he informed me that they don't do that. 'So how do they get their money?' I had asked. His response: 'Oh there's a box around here somewhere where you can drop your money in, but it's hidden and hard to find.'

Shortly after attending some of the meetings, arrangements were made for a couple about our age to study with us. Because we lived about 20 miles out of town and our driveway wasn't that good, no one could be found that could come out to our home and study with us. It was suggested that Paul and I drive into town for our studies. We met at the Kingdom Hall. I don't remember how long we studied with them, but shortly afterwards, the couple had moved, and no one else made arrangements to continue our study, so Paul and I just quit studying. I don't think our hearts were truly in it. 

I want to stop my story here, because my next jump will be to 2005, and that's when it really starts to get interesting, and more active and intense... plus it's 1:12 am and I really need to get to bed. Night all. 

Like this blog, please share.

How Jehovah Got My Attention: Part 1, Being Raised Pentecostal/Questioning God

I am so glad you are here, my beautiful readers. You have allowed me to take up a moment of your time. I feel blessed that I can share part of my life with you, and blessed that you want to hear about it!

From time to time, when talking to people about my faith, they are surprised to learn that I was raise Pentecostal and later became on of Jehovah's Witnesses. When they ask why, I always share with them James 1:13, because that is the God I was looking for, the God that I knew was out there, but not taught through the scriptures from my Father, who did the preaching in the family. Yes, James 1:13 made quite the impact in my heart, and finally, finally, after years of searching for that God of Love, I found him in James 1:13, which reads: When under trial, let no one say: “I am being tried by God.” For with evil things God cannot be tried, nor does he himself try anyone. The explanation resulting in that follows with the words below. My story is a bit lengthy, so I have broken it up.

How Jehovah Got My Attention

I was raised Pentecostal. My dad was the preacher of the church he started up upon moving to Wyoming. I can remember a couple of times when Dad talked with the Witnesses when they came out to our place, but I never stuck around to hear what was being said. I know that my dad never had anything good to say about them, though, I can not recall what he did say. I just got the impression that they were wrong and my dad was right.

Heaven?

Hell?

Being raised Pentecostal, I was taught such things as Hellfire punishment, the Immortality of the soul: dying and going to heaven or hell, speaking in tongues, Faith/Prayer Healing. Although, now, I have learned that most Pentecostals believe in the Trinity, I can't remember being raised with that thought, it seems to have been more of my Mom's belief that Dad's, and Dad did the teaching in the family. 

The following is supplemental information, what the Bible teaches vs what man teaches.

•  Lies that make God Seem Unlovable
• Myth 1: The Soul Is Immortal
• What happens to us when we die?

I did witness Faith Healing at our church and, everybody, including my Dad, spoke in tongues. I remember thinking there was something wrong with me because I could not speak in tongues. I tried to fake it, but it just did not feel right.

As I got older, in my teens, I started to questions things, things about God, but I did not know where to turn for answers. To question my Dad was to question God, so I was left uninformed. I could not understand why a God of love could torment someone in Hell...FOREVER. Questions that I needed answered that could not be explained were answered with the statements: 'Some things are just a mystery' or 'It's Gods Will.' So as I left High School in 1985, I turned my back on God.

I met my husband early on in 1985 while living in Lander Wyoming. By the end of the year, we were married and had a daughter. That is the first time I can remember studying the Bible with the Witnesses. I was too stubborn to learn anything as I was out to prove them wrong. Although I can not remember much of what they were teaching, I knew it did not agree with my 'Religion.' I did not study long as one of the people that studied with us was Paul's sister-in-law, and I had heard through her husband that she really did not like me, and I was not about to have someone that did not like me studying the Bible with me. (Long story, and to this day, I do not know what happened to her.) The other sister, she was welcomed to come back, although I don't remember much about those studies as well.

One other thing I do remember is sitting down with my Mom, Sister, and Paul for a Bible discussion when we all lived out in a trailer on the Indian Reservation in Ethete, Wyoming. He had 'A Witness' Bible (that's what I thought of it back then) that had the 'Reasoning W/the scriptures' book bound up with it. In my King James Version Bible, I read something that bothered me. The discussion was over the Trinity, and though I really did not understand the Trinity, my Mom used the scripture in I John 5:7 out of the KJV which reads: For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one.' The surprising thing is, there was a footnote at the bottom of the KJV Bible that said something to this effect: 'And this was added later,' in reference to the 'and these three are one,' statement. Now, while that was not enough for me to questions my Bible education, it did make me wonder: 'If that was added, what else was added?' or for that matter, 'Taken Away.' (stay tuned, more to follow)

Are Jehovah's Witnesses a Cult? 2 common perceptions that don't apply.

Not my actual photo,
but I saw some like this one.

Here we are again. Welcome back, my most beautiful readers.

How's the weather treating ya? It's been raining, we've had severe Thunderstorms, and just last Sunday, Papa and I got caught out on the lake during such a storm. I put together footage shot of the storm from the pontoon with my camera and made a documentary of the experience. Most of my friends who watched the video used words like "heart attack" and "crazy" and "scared to death" in describing what their condition would be if THEY were out on the lake. Yep, never a dull moment with the Clark's.

So, yeah, this mention came up about Jehovah's Witnesses, and the word 'cult' was used. Someone tweeted this to me: sender - sound like the watchtower, they shun you if you question the cult teaching, and research what they talk about... do your selfe a favor, and understand instead of accepting stupid lies from a cult like http://JW.org . So I asked: Hi, why do you call it a cult? sender - Becourse it is defined as a cult, try to look it up, and see what a cult is ;)

Well thank you for mentioning it. I will look it up. And as I mentioned earlier, I wanted to make this a matter of prayer before responding. So I whipped out my trusty dusty Google search engine, and this is what I found -

1) Cult From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia - Cult is a controversial term that has divergent definitions in popular culture and in academia and has been an ongoing source of contention among scholars across several fields of study.^[1][2] In the sociological classifications of religious movements , a cult is a religious or social group with socially deviant or novel beliefs and practices.^[3]However, whether any particular group's beliefs and practices are sufficiently deviant or novel is often unclear, thus making a precise definition problematic.^[4][5] In the English speaking world, the word often carries derogatory connotations, but in other European languages, it is used as English-speakers use the word "religion", sometimes causing confusion for English-speakers reading material translated from other languages.^[6][7] The word "cult" has always been controversial because it is (in a pejorative sense) considered a subjective term, used as an ad hominem attack against groups with differing doctrines or practices, which lacks a clear or consistent definition.^[8][9]

2) Cult from Dictionary.com - cult [kuhlt] 

noun

1.

a particular system of religious worship, especially with reference to its rites and ceremonies.

2.

an instance of great veneration of a person, ideal, or thing, especially as manifested by a body of admirers:

the physical fitness cult.noun

3.

the object of such devotion.

4.

a group or sect bound together by veneration of the same thing, person, ideal,etc.

5.

Sociology. a group having a sacred ideology and a set of rites centering around their sacred symbols.

6.

a religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremist, with members often living outside of  conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader.

7.

the members of such a religion or sect.

cult in Culture - cult definition

In anthropology, an organization for the conduct of ritual, magical, or other religious observances. Many so-called primitive tribes, for example, have ancestor cults, in which dead ancestors are considered divine and activities are organized to respect their memory and invoke their aid. A cult is also a religious group held together by a dominant, often charismatic individual, or by the worship of a divinity, an idol, or some other object. ( See animism, fetish, and totemism.)

Note : The term cult often suggests extreme beliefs and bizarre behavior.

Last one -

3) The Free Dictionary - cult n.

1.

a. A religion or religious sect generally considered to be extremist or false, with its followers often living in an unconventional manner under the guidance of an authoritarian, charismatic leader.

b. The followers of such a religion or sect.

2. A system or community of religious worship and ritual.

3. The formal means of expressing religious reverence; religious ceremony and ritual.

4. A usually nonscientific method or regimen claimed by its originator to have exclusive or exceptional power in curing a particular disease.

5.

a. Obsessive, especially faddish, devotion to or veneration for a person, principle, or thing.

b. The object of such devotion.

6. An exclusive group of persons sharing an esoteric, usually artistic or intellectual interest.

I didn't see any mention of Jehovah's Witnesses. I supplied the link so you can look it up for yourself. You must decide.

Now, the next thing I did was do a Google search for popular cults. Here's what I found:

1) 10 of the Most Dangerous Religious Cults

2) Notorious Cults

And the list goes on. I decided to stop at two because it was just depressing me, looking at all of that messed up stuff. My point, though, Jehovah's Witnesses were not listed. Hum! So I have concluded that when people use the word 'cult' to describe me, they have no idea what they are talking about. That is understandable though. If a person does not take the time to learn, they speak in ignorance. Hey, I use to! When I was growing up, my dad, who was against the Witnesses, spoke very badly of them, and because I believed my dad knew what he was talking about, I repeated what he said, like it was the 'gospel truth.' Later, though, I would find out that my dad was grossly incorrect and he did not speak accurately about the Witnesses, therefore neither did I.

It was much later in life that I learned what Jehovah's Witnesses are all about. I enjoyed my Bible Education I received from my spiritual mom and dad. Everything made sense to me. I chose, therefore, to become a follower of Christ (not man as most cults do) and I dedicated my life to Jehovah and to the doing of his will. There are no blood sacrifices, living isolated, murdering, blah blah blah.

The last bit of information that I want to share with you dear readers comes directly from the beautiful website jw.org. The information addresses the question: Are Jehovah's Witnesses a Cult? The article takes less than two minutes to read, and there it also discusses 2 common perceptions that don't apply to Jehovah's Witnesses. I recommend that you read it for yourself. (Also, there are related articles to the right of the page that answer other questions about Jehovah's Witnesses.) I do want to share with you the opening paragraph which answers the question: Are Jehovah's Witnesses a Cult? in which it states:

 No, Jehovah’s Witnesses are not a cult. 

Rather, we are Christians who do our best to follow the 

example set by Jesus Christ and to live by his teachings. 

There it is my dear readers. I have put it out there for you to ponder and meditate over. The decision is yours to make. I know that some of you will chose not to believe that Jehovah's Witnesses are not a cult, and that is ok, you have that right. However, I hope that this has been helpful for those who were wonder but didn't know where to go for answers.

I would love to here your thoughts.

Please enjoy looking up the articles for jw.org. There is always a Bible education to be found there, and if you would like to learn more, you can request a free bible discussion. Click here to learn: Why study the Bible?

Please feel free to share this blog.