Tornado Warning. Hitting Rock Bottom, Again! Really?!

Hey my dear readers, my beautiful readers, welcome back.
This blog is dedicated to my dear brothers and sisters who helped me during my time of need emotionally.

To quote a line from the movie 'Splash' - "What a week I'm having!"
Like, really?!?!?! Deep breath. OK.

Not explaining, just complaining.
Let us begin with Saturday. So, Papa has been gone since Saturday. Actually he left early Saturday morning. He's been doing stuff for Jehovah in Warwick. Just another normal day for me. I even hopped on Big John Jr. and fired up the bush hog to mow some overly tall grass. It was a productive day that left me a bit sore in the neck, but it left me satisfied that I had accomplished that which I set out to do. Yeah team!

The trouble starts Sunday. I went to the meeting at the Kingdom Hall, no problems there. It is always good to be around Jehovah's people, and my brothers and sisters. (I have a big, Big BIG family.) Afterwards, a low carb burger from Hardies, (no, I'm not on a low carb diet, I just love a burger wrapped in lettuce, and slightly heavy on the mustard please, and don't forget the pickles.) Large unsweetened tea from Mc D's with 8, yes 8 splendas. Having lunch in the Movie Palace parking lot. (Yep, gunna see it again!)

Well, it seemed like a lot of water!

After the movie, here is where the trouble begins. I get home and start in on my 'getting home routine' when I hear this weird sound. 'What is that?' Follow the sound. 'Is that coming from the bathroom?' Follow the sound. Found the sound. Yep, it's coming from the bathroom. Water spraying all over the walls, even shooting out into the hallway and hitting the door going into the office! The water line has come loose just above the shut off valve of the toilet. So I wade, stocking footed, through 2" of water and shut the valve off, while filming it with my phone. Commencing cleanup.

Monday was a good day. I finished my studies for Tuesday night, went over a demonstration that I was going to do Tuesday night with a dear sister of mine. Mowed with the Bad Boy. Watched a little TV. Popcorn. Bed.

Tuesday was oh...so...bad. All was well, normal, until around mid afternoon. Chris S. one of my baby boys, had been out at the house, helping me with stuff that needed done outside. He brought me two 50 lb bags of dog food, a 5 gallon bottle of water for my dispenser, and was running the weed eater to trim around stuff and trim up against fences. About 15 minutes after he left, it started getting dark outside. My phone weather alert goes off. TORNADO warning. Seek shelter. Getting darker still. Another alarm. TORNADO warning. Seek shelter. Darker still. I open the kitchen window to listen to what the weather is telling me. Wind. Lots of wind. Mute the TV. More wind! Starting to rain! More wind! Thunder! Wind!

At this point, my weather alert warning is saying to seek shelter until 3:45 pm. So, I start the unenviable task of getting 7 Min Pins to come with me into the master closet. Yeah Right! I slowly get them in there, closing them in while I scurry through the house trying to find them. One is MISSING! I can't find Choc! Meanwhile, the onslaught of rain has now come with hail stones! I can't find Choc! I can't even open up the back door to holler for him because the hail and wind and rain is so bad! No success out the front door either! I can't find Choc! I end up retreating to the closet without Choc! Hoping he has sought shelter underneath the house. In the meantime, I hold tight to my phone, and we sit and wait out the storm, listening to it crash hard against the house.

The moment the storm sounds like it has moved off, we all venture out of the closet. I have to find Choc! I hear this weird sound. 'What is that?' Follow the sound. 'Is that coming from the living room?' Follow the sound. Found the sound. Yep, it's coming from the living room. Water is pouring down outside, still, and it is also pouring into the living room from the A/C unit mounted on the outer wall by the front door. And when I say water is pouring, that is what I mean, it is pouring into the living room and covering the floor. REALLY!?!?!? I'm gunna need a big bucket! Two of them!

With buckets placed, never mind the water on the floor, gotta find Choc! Found him. Soaking wet. But alive! So I have to dry off Choc and clean up the floor. I text my group overseer from the Kingdom Hall to let him know that I am OK and that I am gunna hop into Big Girl and check the road to see if the storm left trees across the road. I get into the truck, and that old familiar unwanted friend lets me know he's with me. The stress of dealing with a possible survival of a Tornado, a missing kid, water on the living room floor, reflecting back to Sunday's water show, and POW, more than I can handle. I started my melt down as I drove down the road to check if there was clear passage. By the time I got back to the house, I was barley holding it together emotionally.

I walk in the house, and 'What is that smell?' Didn't have to follow it far. My dinner was burnt! REALLY?!?!?! Deep breath, Deb. Just sit, eat what isn't burnt, and calm down. Well, Deb did all but the 'calm down' part. I had this mental debate of whether or not to make it to the meeting. My dear friend and sister was counting on me. 'Just go Deb, do your part and then come back home.' But, 'What if you get there and can't make it home? or What if you can't get there and you get in an
accident?' Just cancel.

So I call my dear sister. No answer. I call the school overseer to give an update on my deteriorating condition and have to leave a message. (I found out later that the dear brother I called was not the school overseer anymore. Did I not get the memo? Or did I forget that I got the memo?) Then on the second attempt to reach my dear sister, she answers the phone, and I have ta tell ya, my dear readers, I WAS EMOTIONALLY HYSTERICAL! I probably scared my poor dear sister half to death.

The second person I probably scared half to death was poor papa. I text him to let him know I was OK. He was confused. You see, I had forwarded the "I'm OK" text to him and so he wasn't sure if it came from me or I was forwarding someone else's "I'm OK" text. CALL ME! I text him.
"Hello" I said.
"Are you OK?" Papa asked.
"Don't freak out" I said as I was crying hysterically, "I'm OK, but I'm not OK." Then poor papa gets the onslaught of my emotions. (I really need to work on that.)
My other baby boy, Drew, described me this way, "You're one of those 'Little House on the Prairie Women."
"SAY WHAT?"
"Yeah, you're all rough and tough and can handle a crisis, but if the dog dies, you fall apart." Well... that pretty much summed up how I was doing. (No, Choc didn't die, but I was Hysterical that I couldn't find him!) Having said all of that, I crashed emotionally.

Now, let's move on to Wednesday. Even worse! No really! A few weeks ago, I agreed to be moral support for a family member that had to go to court. I will not discuss who, what, where, when or why, but I agreed to be there for support. Well, after Tuesday, the last thing I wanted to do was leave the house, but I gave my word, and I take very seriously let your word ‘Yes’ mean yes, your ‘No,’ no. 8:15 am? WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?! Get up Deb. Just get up.

Now, I don't want to go into a lot of detail, but I will say this, there were several things happening there in that courthouse that troubled my heart deeply. I am thankful that Jehovah was there with me, keeping me calm, and keeping his hand over my mouth. Things happened there that hurt me deeply. But as a representative of Jehovah, I was reminded to represent. So represent I did. 'Be calm. Don't say anything. Encourage where you can.' In the end, when it was all said and done, I couldn't wait to get out to my truck. I had to hold it together so that I did not break down. I kept telling myself to be strong. Show no weakness.

Papa text me later and asked me 'is the court over, how did it go?'
My response 'it's over. Didn't go well. I have much to say, typing nothing.'

I need to eat. Mc D's for the 'Nolin BOGO' offer, and yes, tea with 8 splendas.
Texted papa again, "I am d...u...n... dun. My back/head."
"Pills?" he asked
"Not yet. They make me a bit drowsy." (The last thing I need is drowsy behind the wheel.)
Checked the mail at the office.
Texted papa, "If my Lord doesn't need me2do any thing else..."
"I need you to go home and check the TV to see if it is working"
Smiley emoji, "I'm on it" triple heart emoji.

Yet, Jehovah helped me in a different way. I was reminded due to past words of encouragement of what I have with Jehovah, not what I don't have in Satan's world. Comforted yet again... thanks Jah.

On a lighter note, my baby boy, Chris, was out at the house whilst I was in town, cleaning out the gutters on the house and putting a plastic diversion atop the A/C unit to hopefully prevent more rain from coming into the house as I had found earlier evidence that this is not the first time the A/C unit allowed water into my house and onto my living room floor! ... (Why are these pillows wet? Did I over water the plant by the door?) A BIG SHOUT OUT TO CHRIS!!! He even text me later that night, after 10 pm (I guess he didn't get the memo of 'no texts after 10 pm.') Really though, it was OK, as I knew he was checking up on me, and I didn't want to worry him. Again, A BIG SHOUT OUT TO CHRIS!!!

As for Thursday, it is a leveling off day. I have hit rock bottom emotionally, and now 'we, Deb and I' marinate in the absence of happy endorphin. It is at this point that Deb and I have a decision to make. 'What are ya gunna do?' Marinate. But Jehovah won't let me. Yet another dear friend calls me, one who never calls me, to ask me how I'm doing, and whilst I didn't UNLOAD, I came real close. 'Don't cry, Don't cry, be strong. Don't let 'em hear you cry,' all the while tears are rolling down my cheeks. No worries though. Jehovah knew what I needed, and I needed yet another friend, who gave just the right encouragement at just the right time.

After that, another dear friend of mine called me (Tuesday night, but I didn't listen to the voice message till Thursday as I was to emotionally unbalanced to listen to it) to encourage me and see if I had fared the weather OK as he hadn't seen me at the meeting, and I text him and unloaded on him as well. He asked if I had listened in to the meeting and I said "No Sir. I crashed! I EMOTIONALLY CRASHED! I was supposed 2b householder 4 Johanna H, and I was ashamed I couldn't be there, and the thought of listening in was unbearable." Of course, Jehovah blesses us when we need it most, so my dear brother text me back "I understand" (and he does, he suffers from the same stuff I suffer from. He can take one look at me and know exactly how I feel, and he therefore knows how to encourage me.) "I have a gift for you. Is worth about $1 Billion. Isaiah 32:2." Well, wouldn't cha know it, that's my 3rd most favorite scripture! Yep, Jehovah helps us out when we need it. I thank Jehovah every day for my Brothers and Sisters in Christ.

Wasted Time by Keith Urban

I tried to sit down and do my Watchtower lesson, a study I normally do on Wednesday, but I can't get my mind to focus. Deb gets this idea, lets put the headphones in, take the kids, and walk the 5 acre fenced area for some activity. Just gotta listen to 'Wasted Time' by Keith Urban, my recent Google play purchase after seeing KU perform this song on The Tonight Show.

Oh I like that!
Let's listen again... rewind.
Let's listen again... rewind.
Let's listen again... rewind.
Besides Jehovah, nothing reaches into my heart like music. It grounds me, focuses me, perks me up, and makes me forget about my troubles for a while. Thank you Jehovah and KU...

Not complaining, just explaining.
I thank Jehovah every day for the blessings that I have.
I thank Jehovah every day for the encouragement I receive for him and from my brothers and sisters.
I thank Jehovah every day for the promise of a future filled with peace. (Hint, Revelation 21:4, my favorite)
I thank Jehovah...

Now it's your turn. What is your favorite Scripture?
Why is it your favorite?

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