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How Jehovah Got my Attention: (Part 5) Overcoming Heavy Baggage

Welcome back, my beautiful readers... Well, you have traveled a long journey with me, and we are pulling back into the driveway. This is the final stretch. I truly hope that you have enjoyed the journey with me. 

I mentioned previously that I had baggage. Heavy baggage. Pride and Resentment. (Sadly, these two seem to always keep revisiting me, and I haven't even invited them...RUDE.)

Although I was slowly letting go of the Hatred and learning Forgiveness, I still had one more thing holding me back Spiritually. My continued studies helped to develop a love for Jehovah and a desire to make him happy, and the change within me became more noticeable to me. Hatred did not seem to matter anymore. I simply did not have time for it in my life anymore.
Does anything good ever come of it?

A negative feeling
What held me back was Pride and Resentment towards Papa. I realized that as I was studying, I wanted to be the one to share new information with Paul, I wanted to be the one teaching HIM, so when I would share my new findings out of the Bible with him, he would say: “You did not know that?” Boy did I resent that. And that is when I was no longer able to make comments at any of the meetings. I did not feel I had the right to comment while carrying around this resentment. I kept hearing this voice inside my head that told me that 'I did not have any right to be making comments.' This resentment also made me feel guilty about the field Ministry.

In the end, after talking for a couple of hours on the phone with a Sister from my book study, she asked me: “Did you pray about it?” I must confess, I had not. That was her first suggestion. Next, she suggested I do as search on the WT CD program as the society has wonderful articles out to help people deal with all sorts of things. As soon as I got off the phone with her, I did the search and the very first article that comes up in the search deals with my problem. (Like, how cool is that?!?!?!) So I prayed to Jehovah for his help, and from that moment on, I felt as though a burden was lifted from me.

Then while watching the video: 'Questions Young People Ask,” one of the young girls said that it doesn't matter whether you are baptized or not, you are still accountable to Jehovah. What was left to say after that? I knew then it was time to get Baptized. So I talked to Mark and he talked to the C/O and because I am sentimental, I wanted to get Baptized at the upcoming D/C which would be one year to the date of the last D/C I had attended. Three sets of questions later, and I was set to get Baptized. So, on June 30, 2007, I had the joy of being baptized as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I was one of 35 baptized that day, two of which were from our congregation.

In closing, I would like to say, I thank Jehovah and Mark and Shirley for not giving up on me.

The end of my story, not my journey...



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